Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Fear-litzer


It's chillingly white. Maybe it's made of bones! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!


From yesterday's stories:

Tue Jul 10, 8:25 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The White House has called an urgent multi-agency meeting for Thursday to discuss a potential new al Qaeda threat on U.S. soil, ABC News reported on Tuesday.

Top intelligence and law enforcement officials have been told to meet in the White House Situation Room to report on steps to minimize or counter the threat and what steps are being taken to tighten security at government buildings, ABC said.

Now, if'n there's really something to all of this "urgency" about an imminent attack, then why announce (on a Tuesday) that you want to have an all-important, double-secret-Probation meeting of the big wigs on Thursday? Why wait a couple of days? Travel time? Fuck that, waste some Avgas on some fighter jets and get 'em all there in a few hours. A-and, why get them all together in one place to talk? Isn't that bad security? Don't these folks know about conference calls? Do they all have to be in the same room to absorb or disseminate information? Hasn't a plan been put into place since September 11th, 2001 that will allow coordination between all these agencies?

Wait.

You mean no plan for coordination has been put into place?

Not even simple conference calls?

Nothing?

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Well, you and I feel safer, anyways, right? I mean, there haven't been any events since 9/11, so we must be safer, right? Of course we are. But just not abso-fuckin-lutely safe enough, as the Republicans want to keep reminding us (July 8th, 2007):

In an alarming display of fearmongering, former Republican Senator Rick Santorum has suggested that a series of "unfortunate events," namely terrorist attacks, will occur within the next year and change American citizen's perception of the war.

Appearing on the Hugh Hewitt radio show, Santorum also hyped the necessity of "confronting Iran in the Middle East," and predicted that Giuliani, Romney and Fred Thompson would be the three surviving Republican candidates who would go head to head in the race for the nomination.

Santorum went on to clearly imply that terror attacks will occur inside America which will alter the body politic and lead to a reversal of the anti-war sentiment now dominating the country.
Or this:

Last month, the new chairman of the Arkansas Republican Party Dennis Milligan said that there needed to be more attacks on American soil for President Bush to regain popular approval.

"At the end of the day, I believe fully the president is doing the right thing, and I think all we need is some attacks on American soil like we had on [Sept. 11, 2001]," Milligan told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, "And the naysayers will come around very quickly to appreciate not only the commitment for President Bush, but the sacrifice that has been made by men and women to protect this country," he concluded.

Now. Wait.

Just. A. Gawd-damned. Minute.

Are we going to fall for that?! For that kind of obvious horseshit? From Republicans who seem to be showing almost a sense of glee that there will again be attacks on American soil? Like they WANT IT TO HAPPEN?!?!?! I mean, little Ricky up there seems like he's going to decompose into his frothy namesake, just thinkin' about it, and Gilligan...errr...Milligan sounds like he looks forward to the mayhem.

Yep, that's right, it's the last trump card any and all Republicans can play, the Fear Factor card. Cue the Fear-litzer! Start your propogandifyin'! Throw the fear of Jay-sus and the onslaught of Islamofacist Muslim hordes into the crowd! Because after all, they surely wouldn't want you to see what's going on elsewhere. As in:

  1. Sara Taylor, that blonde-haired, blue-eyed Stepford-bot aide of our current Fuhrer is testifying before the Senate today. Maybe she'll take the 5th (after all, she's been ordered to by her master, Der Fuhrer Bush himself). But, maybe she won't and she'll spill some beans about the attorney firings. Can't have that, so...LOOK OVER THERE! It's al-Qaeda! RIGHT THERE!
  2. Generalissimo Patraeus is set to release a pre-lim finding of how well the "splurge" is working in Iraq. My guess, not so well. But don't think about that, BE SCARED, SCARED, SCARED!
  3. Harriet Miers still hasn't decided (or still has not answered whether or not she'll blindly follow the "Deciderer's" orders) and testify before the Senate. If not, the American public will soon find out if subpeona power means anything at all, and, basically, if Americans should give a shit about the law of the land. But, we know that's not important, and besides, THERE'S A CAR-BOMB ON YOUR DOORSTEP! AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!
  4. More prominent Republicans are vocally bailing on Our Glorious Leader's plan for Iraq, and calling him out on it in public. But they're wrong, and the reason they are wrong is because OSAMA IS EATING YOUR PETS! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
  5. The House is starting hearings into whether Scooter Libby might have received, oh, shall we say preferential treatment from the White House in regards to that sentence commutation, but never forget that al-Qaeda is training giant attack badgers to MURDER US ALL IN OUR SLEEP! OH THE HUMANITY!

And, that's just this week. Previous weeks have been similar, and I'm sure that future weeks will be the same.

Because it's all they have left.

Like the chronic complainer who just wants to spread their brand of misery throughout the world, Republicans are good at only one thing: spreading fear. Spreading it far and wide and piled a couple of feet thick.

Why? Because deep-down, they are afraid. Spine-tingling, hair-standing paralyzed with afraid-i-ness. Others, who are cautious, but brave, walk on through their lives without giving into teh fear. The Republicans wallow in it and insist that we wallow in it too. But enough is enough, and actually, it has been more than enough for a few years now. Because, see, eventually, that kind of fear-mongering becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and soon enough, becomes part of who each of us is, and most importantly, part of our collective national psyche and culture.

And that's not the kind of America I want to live in. Change "Land of the Free, and Home of the Brave" to "Land of the Contentedly Shackled and Home of the Big, Fat, Cowardly Pussies" and it just goes all sour on me.

I want to live in the kind of America that says, "We know it sounds crazy, but we're goin' to the moon!". Not the kind of America that's afraid to take the dog out for a poop on account of some crazy turban-wearers that are ready to nuke my front lawn. I want to live in the kind of America that says, "By god we've got some pretty country out here. Better save some of it for my grandkids." As opposed to the other kind of America that would as soon pave over the whole place, because then those brown-skins won't be havin' any place to hide. I want to live in the kind of America where I stop and say howdy to my neighbors sitting on the stoop, reach down and pet their dog, and wish them well on my walk to work. Not the kind of America that feels it has to cocoon itself up inside a McMansion somewhere, because the only way they can live, is if they're living amongst their "own kind". I want to live in the kind of America where a schoolkid learns actual, empirical truth (e.g., the earth is a sphere, albeit oblate, but a sphere), instead of learning what's been handed down as dogma for 2000-plus years and is never challenged by anyone. And I want that opportunity for every damn kid in this country. I want to live in the kind of America that every other place in the world looks up to because of our kindness as well as our strength, because even though we don't always get things right, at least we have ideals, and because this country is about the best example of social organization that seems to have come about yet. Not the kind of America where we get respect only because we're the bullying type, the one willing to change anyone else to be "just like us", and if not, well, we'll just get rid of them.

That's the kind of America I want to live in.

So the next time the Republicans bring on teh fear, mock them. Laugh at them. Tell them, to their face, what big, fat, cowardly, pencil-dicks they are, and tell them you're walkin' away, because you've got a life to live or better things to do or even that you need to get away to wash away their piss-scented fear cloud off of you. Tell them that you're the real America and you're grown-up and that you don't have time to cry over every damn little thing any more. Offer to put them in a bassinet, if they want it, and tell them you'll hand them a pacifier, and then, just walk away, and go out and make your America.

4 comments:

gandhisxams said...

Excellent post, I think you capture the fact that much of America is enraptured by fear in their daily lives and GOP PR folks know how to pull those strings something fierce. IT is amazing how cowardly we sound in our taken for granted assumptions that both parties use regarding "security", "keeping the homeland safe"," protecting the American people from EVIL", and such. These notions imply that as an antecedent condition American's should be constantly looking over their shoulder, quaking in their shoes, obeying authority, stressing retribution, and support a Big Brother Police State so they can "be safe".

I think you are absolutely correct, we are a nation of Big Fat Ignorant Pussies who are temporarily relieved of our fear through conspicuous consumption and other sophomoric games played by America's decadent yuppie class and rabidly fascist fucked over working class.

I also agree, a decent society sounds nice. This would take courage, and real democracy though, and for now this is easily dismissed as "lefty" by all the fuckwads out there.

Nice post.

pygalgia said...

GIANT BADGERS!!!

Gordon said...

I will let my own innards tell me when to be scared, thank you. I don't need no government help. Nor do I need to hear "the sky is falling!" from anyone with an agenda.

zymurgian said...

As long as our badgers are bigger than their's! Too bad you're too damn smart to actually run for some political office.-If you ever decided to, you'de sure have my vote!