Thursday, February 3, 2011

Rabbit, You're Screwed

Welcome to the year of the Rabbit. Please be optimistic.Of course, I lack optimism. Perhaps the world will improve, but that doesn't seem to be the trend line. Actually, if you look at the history of us humans, we've gone a long time without a catastrophic collapse. Currently, this national elevator is headed in only one direction.
Of course, my view could be a result of my seasonal affective disorder. Consider
Seven Signs that you have Seasonal Affective Disorder
of which I have all of them, except that I'm too lazy to build that many snowmen.

1. You notice that Seasonal Affective Disorder has the initials SAD, and you’re both sad and angry about this. You make up a new word, “sangry,” and you are. Sangry.

2. You build 14 detailed snowmen with various personalities and traits. Then you kill them. With a blowtorch.

3. Warm cookies cheer you up. At least the first couple dozen do. Then they make you sangry.

4. You build 14 more snowmen, all different from the first 14, but they meet the same fate. And before they do, you say, “Now you will meet the same fate!” as if they understood you and feared the blowtorch.

5. The happy cries of children yelling “snow day!” sound like actual crying to you, and you join in, which scares the children, and then they really do cry.

6. You go swimsuit shopping to cheer up. That’s how bad it’s gotten.

7. You build 14 more snowmen, put swimsuits on them and feed them cookies. Then, the blowtorch.

So it's time to put some pancakes on the "year of the Rabbit".

I'm now wanting warm cookies.

1 comment:

Phil said...

"I'm now wanting warm cookies."

And a huge bowl of rabbit stew.