Thursday, May 13, 2010

Writing



Those who can't write, well they wrote about writing. So I like this:

somethingintellectual

  1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. Profanity sucks.
  15. Be more or less specific.
  16. Understatement is always best.
  17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

Remind me to follow at least a few of those rules.

5 comments:

Fearguth said...

And if you start seeing feathers on a snake, it's probably time to stop writing altogether.

Mauigirl said...

This list is great, thanks for posting this to start my day with a smile! ;-)

Bob said...

Wonderful!

hotclaws said...

I'm reading Twilight just to see what it is all about,holy hell,that woman can't write,she makes my eyes bleed.

Labrys said...

That is the best thing since Eats Shoots and Leaves! Thank you!