pet troubles

Does your pet piss on the carpet, harass passersby, or claw up the upholstery? Well, consider yourself fortunate...
My pet is a dinosaur named Noam. Like myself, she once had a run-in with a time-vortex. Poor thing. I sure felt sorry for Noam, when I first noticed her curled up and shivering on my porch, yowling with mesozoic incomprehension. I thought to myself-"Sheesh! Why is there a stupid really big dinosaur on my porch?"
Then it occured to me. Obviously! Once you time travel, you smell differnt, but your aroma is only distinguishable to other time travelers. So this fucking dinosaur sniffed me out, quit yowling as she recognized me (Noam is pretty dumb), got really cute and playful and snugly.
I suspect Noam was involuntarily sucked into this age, through a Time Dumpster, as I had been once as well, but only to be involuntarily swept to the year 2013. These time vortex puddles conglomerate across many states. They don't care where they spit you. They do it for fun . Let us call them Dumpsterites. Well, anyway, the Dumpies spat me back to my own time.
Perhaps they will do the same for this witless saurian.
I said to it, " Noam, get in the back yard and stay there. "
So she does. DAMN PERTY DINOSAUR why be in a hurry to send her back? O.K.- let me back up a bit- sometimes I lounge about in our lush, shady backyard in my Crazy Chair, a glass of strong iced coffee and a book. Well, when I introduced my new pal to the backyard, first thing she went for was the book. It was A Handbook Of Modern Philosophy. She just pounced on it , tore it to shreds and devoured the whole book. Something by Chomsky on her chin.
Sure am relieved I just so happen to own a large titanium chain. I use it for, oh Howdy! My name is Zymurgian 'round these parts, if you are catastrophically bored, check out archives. I use a titanium chain in my brewing endeavors, as one result of my perambulations. Any advice out there for the many burdens of owning a devoted (hungry) dinosaur? Noam sure is Cute.