Driving America to the Left

In a surprise announcement, President Obama called for a change in American driving:
"For far too long, this country has been driven too far to the right, by driving on the right. Because I'm a left-handed leftist, I'm hereby ordering that, beginning next month, America will begin driving on the left side of the road. Now, I know, some folks will not like this. But we have been driven so far to the right that we've driven over a cliff. So, it's time to drive on the left. It's time for America to move further left, driven by the left, by driving on the left. Think how many jobs we can create, just by turning around all those 'one way' signs, and also bailing out the auto-repair industry". The President added "hey, it worked in Samoa, and look how their economy is doing."
Overall reaction was tepid, but all the mainstream pundits agreed that a more "bi-partisan, centrist" plan is needed. David Broder said "I intend to keep driving down the middle of the road, and I hope the rest of America will follow me".
There will, of course, be an exemption for trucks and vehicles over 8,000 lbs. GVW. The 'so-called' "hummer exemption" should cause only minimal problems, as trucks have never followed lane rules, anyway.
(none of this is true)