Friday, June 27, 2008

Sorry that it's only Boobies these days


Sorry about the lack of posts - still lack internet in the home cave. I'm going to again ask for donations (thanks, Megan), as the one that I recieved isn't enough by itself. With luck, Pygalgia will be back on politics soon.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Carlin and Baseball

In memory of George Carlin, because I'm a huge baseball fan, here's the all-time classic:

"Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.

I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park! Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in
the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it? Baseball is concerned
with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!"

Shit, Piss, Fuck, and other words...

My heroes are dropping like flies, these days. Doc Hunter a coupla' years ago, and now this morning, I hear that George Carlin has died. Not expired, not "passed on", not anti-livable, but died. Stone cold. Dead as a doorknocker. Motherfucking tits up, to use two of his words in a sentence.

The world is now a much less happier place.

For those who never heard George Carlin you missed an incredible comedy act. His ability to pull humor out of the most mundane, everyday observations influenced a huge sector of comedy stars from Steven Wright to Ben Stiller.

He will be best known as a legal footnote for his 7 words you cannot say on teevee or radio (wiki entry here), but I much prefer his observations and put-downs of religion, which, in my opinion, equal those of Mark Twain, another great satirist of religion.

What a way start a Monday morning. Fuck.