Tuesday, October 16, 2007

very quite ancient brewing techniques

Once upon a time, no, really folks, a dinosaur hopped out of a time travel device that was disguised as a dumpster. It wandered to my house and decided it wanted to live with me. I was at once, at first charmed by this. But then we learned that the dinosaur likes to eat books.
Noam the Dinosaur, as I've named her, has gobbled and widdled this house' once proud and weighted bookshelves of all their intellectual gildedness. Noam devoured everything from Plutarch to Sylvia Plath. We have like, two issues of Readers Digest left. She's really been a tough pet.
But she is also totally fucking awesome! How to put it? Noam moves like a cat and acts like a dog. Umm, a prodigious dog with the destructive capability of roughly 4 fairly large hippopatami. Noam is usually pretty good natured. She knows we disapprove of her devouring our library. I saw Noam regurgitate Chaucer, and bury it in the backyard somewhere for later. But this is also a creature that can narrow its eyes at you, as soon as beg for supplication. I reckon she is Jurassic or Ordovician and so so lost.
Well my frickin pet dinosaur got into my homebrew recently as it was fermenting; attenuating;flocculating in two 6.5 gal carboys that's 16lbs of two row malted barley, hops of Galena, Nugget, Kent Goldings and liquid yeast from Scotland. Two ninety minute mashes of 8 lbs of barley etc . Noam just sneaked her wily scales through my window and she apparently tore out the blow-off hoses of my fermentation cauldrons and sucked up every ounce of my hard-earned homebrew...


Noam was in the backyard, completely smashed, and sorry, from having imbibed 12 gallons of my homebrew. She was yawling and woefully guffawing mixed in with backwards Cenzoic parrot slurs, and puking. "Bad dinosaur!!!" Bad! Bad! Bad!" I said. Wow, she really puked a lot. It was so voluminous that i decided to collect it in the same carboys the inebriated saurian had plundered.
And now I have 12 gallons of dinosaur puke instead of pale ale. What is really strange is, it is still fermenting! LIKE CRAZY!

Well, whatever comes of this batch should probably be bottled


--mf said...


I know that you worked your butt off to make that batch of IPA. It's always sad to have something go so terribly wrong. Well, the l'il saur has hopefully learned a valuable lesson after sleeping it off.

Meanwhile, I have a deeeelicious Porter sitting in front of me, and a batch of Amber Ale in the fermenter gettin' gurgly.

(not to rub it in or anything.)

I have a question to ask you, though-- do you re-use your yeast sediments? When I bottle a batch, I usually have a new batch ready to go into the clarifyer, and often transfer right on top of the last batch's sediments. Then, of course, I start a new boil. Essentially, I'm handling three batches in a day.

Is re-using barm an OK practice?


pygalgia said...

I'll pass your yeast question off to Zymurgian.
My question is: Is this beer, or is it Dinosaur puke?
I think I can tell the difference.

zymurgian said...

yo monkeyfister-
I typically pour sleeping yeast cells from a primary fermentor into a sanitized erlenmeyer flask, after having racked off the ale into a secondary carboy to assist with clarification.I am not a yeast cultivation expert. Yet. I just know how to get two batches from one vial.I will reveal this info to ya- the older the yeast strain- the less finicky it is. I brew only with British Isles ale yeasts. They are far more tenacious and flavorful than clone wannabe strains like "East Coast" or "California Ale Yeast." Go to the source. Above all- Relax. Don't worry.
White labs Dry English Ale Yeast
White labs Edinburgh Ale Yeast

--mf said...

Yeah, Zy--

I specifically ask for, and pay extra for the White Labs Yeast-- It's the only yeast that I use, as I've noticed that it will do its thing in less than ideal temps, where other yeasts flake out if even slightly out of range.